The novel has driven itself as far as it can… And I have completely lost faith… Perhaps some new surroundings are in order… Ghosts and odd memories are too thick in this house.. . Hang on by a thin thread until the next load is dumped and sifted through… Hold on… hold…
Obama visits the Gulf and poof, the oil dried up and disappeared before our eyes.
I am afraid that we have all become too busy to care. Too self absorbed to see the doom clouds thickening over our heads. Cnn reports that BP flew in workers for Obama’s big visit and after the president was gone, the workers were ordered to leave the site. Whether this story is true or not matters very little. We are getting the same rigamarole as usual. The president flies in, makes a pretty speech, shakes a few hands, smiles like a climaxing peacock, and then whoosh, off goes our sympathetic president back to the white house to plan for more off shore drilling. I heard rumors that Obama actually has a pool of pure crude oil in the basement of the white house where he and George W. float in their tiny inflatable battleships, pretending to fire missiles and torpedoes at each other. The point is, they don’t care. They don’t care about the environment, the lives’ of those workers who died, or the fact that real people will have to endure fallout from the oil spill for decades. Priorities are severely askew right now, and this is the most recent evidence. The people of Louisiana, Florida, Mississippi, etc should stand up and demand restitution for lost revenues, and damaged property. Each citizen should file civil lawsuits against BP and the Federal Gov. The government no longer works for the citizens… They pretend to have the interests of the common man at heart only during election years. Obama, folks, is sadly the ultimate sheep in wolves attire. George Bush couldn’t speak, he danced well, he made us laugh, but at the end of the day he puffed his chest out and did things his way, and we are paying the price. There are very few chinks in the arrogant armor of Obama. He speaks clearly and eloquently, he is a master at dodging the question in a way that appears as if he is answering it. Obama is the master of not saying anything at all and making it sound great. The people have drank the Cool-aid, now we all must deal with the consequences. More off shore drilling is still being promised to oil companies when the clear cut evidence of why the people should never let it happen floats in the waters of the Gulf of Mexico.
The skin
Uncomfortable in my own skin…. What could be worse?
The Married life…
More to come… Today is one month… Still working on the book… started new short story… deadline december 14th… Hope I can keep it together…
High and Dry
Fall in the mountains of Virginia has been beautiful. I married the love of my life, am spending time with my parents, and finally trying to finish a story that has nagged at my soul for a year now. I am finally being productive, but something is missing, and I know exactly what it is. I am longing for the ocean, for surfing. I just saw photos from this weekends swell at Pipeline and I began to salivate. When I saw the mammoth backdoor that Jamie O’Brien had pulled into my stomach jolted, and my knees almost buckled. I got that adrenaline rush similar to when your about to launch. I went into the living room and looked at my surfboards sitting there in the floor, lonely, drying in cool mountain air. I miss them, they miss me. I miss the cold atlantic. I miss the early morning paddle outs into a freezing swell that is more likely to pound you into a pebble than give you anything more than a 3 or four second left, but goddamn its fun. I miss the ride to the beach, the butterflies, and all my buddies in the lineup.
In the end…
Patience, must have patience.
What a slow morning…
If you are reading this… know that I miss you more and more every second we are apart… Time to put on my morning jacket and let the dog out….
Nothing really to say today… Just a bit of over-thinking… A Killjoy on the wonder of the unknown… A stain upon the silence. Take me back, and take me away…
Lets talk…
There are boundaries to communication… How can we ever be sure that what we are saying is being heard, much less being comprehended…. Do the words in my head match up with those of yours? Do the subtle pauses and jerky mannerisms mean the same thing to me that they do you? What signals am I inadvertently sending when I simply say hello? What kind of hello were you expecting? Was I on the verge of a cough and therefore unable to speak, so by nodding my head, I am now a rude asshole. What is the etiquette for not speaking? Can we be in too big of a hurry to offer a smile and an awkward hello, or hey? Are we required by some unwritten law to return a hello, or good-day? What if I simply go silent, then what? Am I not the same person I was before? Or do I become something wholly new and different altogether, because I am now being perceived in a whole new way.
Try it sometime, the next time a random stranger or even someone you know offers to say hello, just lower your head and walk faster. That will show them. You are now very smart, extremely important, depressed, about to shit, or simply the silent loser who never speaks to anyone. Oh it is all becoming clear… the conditioning effect… yes… I am not a functional part of society, I am the animal that rows up stream. Anyway… Personally I have to be in the mood to speak to people. But I always stare. I found this to be the best way to unnerve anyone. Just give them a long silent stare straight into the eyes. Most people aren’t prepared to withstand something like that. Most people will immediately shy away, turning their head pretending you are not alive, or in rare cases, they will smile faintly, and offer a quick nod, at which you keep the same blank expression and move forward.
Rarely, however, am I on the other end of the stick, so to speak. But when I am, I can become overly outgoing and I say hello to everyone I come across. A little too excited at being able to function, for once, in society, so I seem to screw it up. Most people return a slight smile and a hi, or a nod of good day. But more often than not, I see myself in these people as they quickly look to the ground for protection from my intrusive stare and over the top “good day sir! ” Perhaps it is a subconscious game I am playing, sort of returning the favor to all those eager happy go lucky bastards who feel it is necessary to ruin my day with their shallow hellos and fake smiles. Bahhh.. It is saturday, chores to do, and football to watch or listen to…. I am done with this death machine…
Obama… The Messiah…
Everyone, line up and pucker up… It’s in the works…. Twist and shout… Whatever, says the blogosphere. Do I agree on some level with the Oxy fiend Limbaugh? Perhaps in this rare moment in time. What have we become? We are perpetually toiling about in the gyre of a global freak out, and the sky is red friends, blood red. I am troubled, perplexed… saddened.
